eSmarmony--Installment #1

Here it is, the long awaited post for some. For others, this is a first you've gotten a whiff. This is going to be a series. The "eSmarmony" series, because a lot has happened to talk about.

About a month and a half ago or so, I joined eHarmony.com. I am not even going to link to them, because it’s not even worth it. You've seen the commercials with the people ever so in love; I don’t need to tell you what it is. If you live in a rock, it’s an online dating site...another one... but this one promises a different way to find you everlasting love, that is supposed to really work. I've kept this pretty secret because I've sworn off internet dating sites. I removed and deleted my profile from every single online dating service I'd ever used. Poof! I don’t exist. Phew. Gawd it was tiring, and irritating, and low quality. But...one day, Dr. Warren of eHarmony.com was on the TV telling me for the millionth time, that there is love for me out there. "Millions of users! Personality compatibility! Look at this couple in love!" I decided begrudgingly to give this one last shot. I'd never used eHarmony because it is REALLY expensive. So, my last shot entailed the rationalization that it’s more time consuming than the others, and its expensive, that must mean people on this site are serious about it.

So off I went typing and answering the questions in the personality profile. I took about 30 minutes and answered numerous questions about myself, about my likes and dislikes, and about what I want and don’t want in a man. After I was done, my info was regurgitated in the form of a personality profile. This profile was to be used to match me with people they feel I am compatible with. For the first few weeks, I had not joined just yet, and I was getting a TON of matches. Once I got my discount deal because they were just so desperate to have me, I joined. Then I went through all these matches. I deleted all of them from Canada. Yes, Canada. My search distance was set on 30 mile radius from my home, and well, Canada is in fact within 30 miles, but no thanks. If I can’t find love in this country, I have bigger problems than I think. I deleted all those without pictures. Sorry. This might seem shallow, but look here...If I am displaying my picture, you better display yours. Don’t give me that bull that you don’t have a camera. Guess what, almost all cell phones have a camera now, or one of your friends has ONE picture of you. Dig it out and put it up. And lastly, I deleted all of those who didn’t bother to write anything in their profiles. You can’t take the time, you don’t deserve mine. Well, this got rid of a little under half of them. Now the next task was going through the ones that didn’t get cut, and reading more, and seeing if they were in fact someone I could connect with. The list got a little smaller, but it was a decent size.

Since, I get 0 to 1 match per day instead of the 10 I was getting when I hadn’t yet paid. The ones I get are Canadians, no pictures, and not complete profile. It was suggested to me by eSmarmony customer service, I expand my search distance. OK, the next option is 60 miles. That is FAR, and I am not going any further than that. I am not about to go or make someone else drive 1 hour just to meet halfway to see if, in fact, the person is A. who they say they are, B. Shows up, and C. Not a nut job. Now I get more matches, in Sarnia, Canada as well as Windsor, in Flint, in Flushing, and in Port Huron. WAY far away from me. Whatever, I still look and read and see if it could be worth it.

The difference in eHarmony is that you cannot search through profiles. You must wait for eHarmony to send you matches that they pick for you based on the personality/psychological test/survey you take when you join. Now, as you will read in other installments, people can answer the questions in any way they want. There is no real truth to these unless the person answering is totally honest.

With all of that being said, this was a total waste of time and money for me. It is so time consuming for little benefit. I know, I know, "it takes time" blah blah blah. Yes, it does take a LOT of time to wait for the other person to answer AND send the 5 pre-determined questions with multiple choice answers that you sent them. Really? It takes you 3 weeks? Anyhow, I know I stand in my own way a lot of the time with my cynical attitude towards dating, but eHarmony has in fact validated my belief that online dating sites do. not. work. for me. The good thing about it is that I am open to it; I've put myself out there, and not sitting on my ass complaining about it. I've been on 3 dates. Three 1st dates, no second ones yet, nor do I want with any of them, but I went and was open. That’s more than I've given myself credit for, which was brought to my attention in an email from a friend today. I will just continue to wait to be the exception, not the rule. Just like the movies, or as similar as you can get with this being real life and all.

Next up: eSmarmony--Installment #2 The Date with the Bee